The New Dad from A to Z: A is for Anxiety
Cake Wrecks, Sample Wrecks From the Book
Sorry, you can’t have any.
Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys
This cake is so disturbing, I’m almost glad the picture doesn’t include the whole thing. The plastic clone babies wearing naught but mohawks are bad enough, but then they’re also riding carrots. What are we supposed to do with that? It looks like some kind of perverted vegetable rodeo, or maybe a bizarre clone military exercise, what with their little plastic fists raised high in identical salutes.
And what kind of occasion calls for a “naked babies riding carrots” decor, anyway? I mean, I’m going with a baby shower to be on the safe side, but if I’m wrong I really don’t want to know.
I posted this cake on the blog just a month after Cake Wrecks began, and to this day it remains the stand out favorite for a lot of fans. Yep, these little carrot jockeys have accumulated quite the following, which will be useful when they make their move to take over the world. Wrecky world domination: that’s the ticket.
Come to the Dark Side; We Have Cake
Could this be the coolest shower cake EVER?
I think so-ooo! [sing-song voice]
Seriously, let me count the ways this cake kicks every other baby shower cake’s butt:
1. Darth friggin’ Vader is holding an adorable little beribboned baby girl. Really, we could just stop there. (But don’t worry; we won’t.)
2. Airbrushing that’s actually . . . pretty? [gasp] Wait, you mean that’s actually possible?!?
3. Best. Use of sprinkles. Ever. Baby want sprinkles? Baby gets sprinkles!
4. The lettering! The outline! The ruffly border! The itty-bitty baby bottle!!!
[pauses to catch breath]
5. Say, did I mention that Darth Vader is holding a baby?
Case closed. Maximum awesomeness has been reached.
Well, until someone makes a cake with Spock holding a cute baby girl, that is. Aw yeah.
I looked it up, and “lave” means “wash.”
See, now this cake makes sense.
“What would you like on the cake?”
“Nothing.”
Yummy
My readers tell me this says “Ojai, ‘It’s worth the drive,’” but let’s ignore the random quotation for the moment and instead focus on all that baked poo soufflé goodness, shall we?
I mean, it takes an uncommon skill to achieve that kind of texture. In fact, this cupcake cake visually sums up my feelings on cupcake cakes in general, but of course I know you’re going to want more examples. (Picky, picky!)
